Learning From a Legend

So. Last night my mom was kind enough to treat me to a night with a legend. That legend’s name is Celine Dion. I was an accidental Celine fan. There was a period of time where it was exceptionally uncool to love the open hearted Quebecer. But deep down she always had me. From a very early age I knew she and Whitney had something special. I didn’t know if there was a god but I knew these women were given something special. A singular vocal gift. Whether you care for her music or not, it’s undeniable the woman can sing.

We showed up early and were excited to be transported to the 90s; when emotions free-flowed and the radio was the main way of hearing the latest hit. It was a special decade when you knew whoever was tuned into the same station as you was listening to the exact same thing. This was a time before our singular experiences became king through cell phones and ipods. I guess I’m feeling nostalgic. It’s exciting to finally be of an age where you can be nostalgic. Enough time has passed. I’m old enough. Woo! *chest thump*.

I remember listening to Because You Loved Me in the car and trying not to cry at the...I don’t know what...mastery, emotion, god given talent? All of it. I miss the times when I felt wide open to the world and my snarky sense of humor hadn’t fully ripened into the crisp, acid-tongued sarcasm it is today. I saw Celine in concert for the first time when I was 11 and I didn’t even consider myself a fan. It was as simple as my mom getting tickets. The second she stepped onto the stage she had me. I was a committed. “Yup” I thought, “I’m a lifelong fan now”.

Last night I was expecting to see a diva in her prime. Which I did. Everything was 100%. Her hair was turnt, her style was on point, and warmth instantly emanated from her massive heart to each of ours. However, one thing wasn’t 100%, her voice. She started strong but half way through the first song you could tell something wasn’t quite right. Our chanteuse tried her best but the fact that she may have gotten back on stage too quickly after cancelling shows in Montreal was written all over her face. You could see the fear in her eyes. You could hear her struggle and we all held our breaths. You could tell she worried that maybe she was doing damage to her vocal chords. That maybe she made the wrong choice. That there were thousands of people hanging on her every note, staring at her while she fought. The pressure would have crumpled a less experienced performer. But this isn’t an ordinary woman and this is no ordinary talent. As a former singer, I know that fear all too well, albeit on a waaaaaayyyy smaller stage. Less of a stage and more of a few 2 x 4s nailed together, to give you context. Not being sure if you can trust your instrument and knowing people are counting on you to perform is terrifying. The pressure can feel crippling and frustrating as all hell when you feel like there are things out of your control.

After her first couple of songs she spoke to us, her voice cracking. She grabbed the top of her spectacular turtlenecked red dress and pulled it over her nose in sort of ...embarrassment? Fear? Discomfort?

This was when things got interesting. Celine could have done a number of things at this point. She could have gotten frustrated at and turned in on herself to beat herself up. She could have pretended nothing was wrong and kept powering through without addressing the issue. Or, she could have stopped the show. I kind of wanted her to stop the show. Being sensitive to my own history with performing, I didn’t want this bad experience to spook her for future performances or do serious damage to those golden chords. But what happened was, for me, an incredible display of vulnerability and strength.

She announced that earlier that day she thought she was ready. She told us she thought she was feeling strong enough to kill it tonight but now, she thought she may have been wrong. Never before in her career had she wondered if she should stop a show. If you do the show you do the show. Then she took a deep breath in, preparing for what, I thought, would be her cancelling the rest of the performance. Cancelling would have been completely understandable. But, what she did taught me life lessons that spread way off the stage and into everyday life.

The woman asked for help. My jaw fell to the floor. She asked us to help her sing. She asked us to let her take it one song at a time. She let us in on how she was feeling and that honesty helped her find the ability to continue. No she didn’t hit every note, but Celine at her worst is better than all of us at peak vocal health. She believed in her experience and ability and she knew her damn self. We watched as she pulled back the veil on the technique that has helped her maintain her voice and kept her singing for decades. We got to see how she moves from octave to octave, her placement, how she manipulates her resonance. She is usually too polished and perfect to see these things. We got to see the duck paddling underneath. It was incredible. A sort of gift she didn’t know she was giving us vocal nerds.

She joked that we “have been helping her sing all night!”. Our hearts swelled at her ability to joke during a very stressful career moment.

She finished the concert stronger than she started and never lost her sense of humor or professionalism. We were hanging on her every note, hoping she hit the high ones and ecstatic when she did. We were just as much an audience as a cheering section. The energy was vibrant, even up in the nosebleeds.

I took a lot more away from last night than I thought I would. She taught us all that we don’t have to be perfect to be powerful. We don’t need to be too cool to care. We don’t need to shut people out when we feel vulnerable, it’s actually the best time to let them in. She made it clear that we don’t have to hit every note, but we do need to keep going. We need to keep believing in ourselves. We need to trust the work we’ve done to get us where we are. We need to know the only person who can turn things around is your own damn self but it’s okay to ask for help.

Last night I went to see and hear perfection but what I got was a person. I don’t think anyone in that stadium will ever forget the display of sheer will and determination that woman showed us. It was one of my favorite concerts I’ve ever seen. The shared experience was powerful. This is why we get away from Netflix and our phones. To share our energy. It wasn’t only about the woman on stage, it was about all of us. We shared that experience, we created an energy that cheered and supported this very rich and talented woman on. At the end of the concert, Celine tearfully told us “she couldn’t give us the show she wanted to”, and she thanked us for “staying with her”. You could feel the sincerity. We’ve been with her from the second each one of us heard her first breath, and after last night, I think most of us there last night, will all be with her until we draw our last.