An Imperfect Post About Perfection

I read for the typos.

Tyops. I look for them, I love them, I seek them out. Now, before you get your feathers in a fully ruffled state about your Eats, Shoots, and Leaves/zero-tolerance fascist approach to writing; let me explain myself. You don't have to agree with me but I'd love it if you'd hear me out.

I think typos teach us a valuable lesson in humility.

So, I'm someone who has bashed through life a bit. Sometimes full of purpose, sometimes full of shit, sometimes without a clear idea of where I was headed. Correction: often without a clear idea of where I was headed. And in my twenties, this seemed ok. I was a 'free spirit'. I was an 'artist'. I was 'figuring it out' and 'following my bliss'...or what I thought my bliss was at the time. And this approach sent me down some truly interesting paths to some cool places but it wasn't necessarily always blissful. #NoRegrets.

I guess I've always felt a bit like I was on the run. Running towards the next acting contract; this one will open up so many doors. Running away from Ottawa; Toronto is where the real opportunities are. Running away from running; yoga's where it's truly at. And if Im being honest, I think I was running a bit from failure. Because the longer you stick with something the more likely you will fail at it...because *lightbulb* that's how you get good at something. You fail and learning from it. Easy enough, right? But my fear of failing has, funnily enough, lead to some failure anyway because, well, you simply can't avoid that shit. I mean even Béyonce makes mistakes *ahem Goldmember*. And if Queen B makes mistakes then there's no help for us mere mortals.

I don't really believe in astrology because, y'know, science, but the fact that Virgos are known for being perfectionists kind of aligns with my personality so I haven't completely written it off entirely. Perfectionism, I know it well, I know it doesn't exist, but that doesn't mean my stubborn ass won't stop trying. And despite being the least successful perfectionist a persona could be; I have never even come close to perfecting anything except maybe self-deprecating humour, I still struggle with wanting things to be juuuust so.

Perfectionism make me tense up when I can't quickly come up with an answer, or a rebuttal when someone challenges my rationale, or if I'm asked to do something and I don't think I've quite mastered the skills required to do it. Perfectionism is the perfect roadblock to stop you from moving on from where you are to where you'd already be if you'd just take the pressure off yourself and do the damn thing already. Perfectionism and the pursuit of it has gotten in my way too many times to write in one blog post, so I'll spare you. And just when you thought this was going to be a blog-post full of me vaguely hinting at my epic list of fuck-ups; I weave in my love of typos, boom!

Typos are those little bits of human error that remind me that pobody's nerfect. They are the perfect reminder to chill out and stop being so intense. I'm allowed to make mistakes because everyone makes them. And like Shakespeare said "to err is human, to forgive divine". So how about forgiving ourselves? Because hey, the guy in The Guardian is a smart friggen dude and there he is making a mistake. His mistake doesn't make his dissection of America's political climate any less insightful, does it? If I can forgive him, can't I do the same for myself? Can't these little keyboard slips be the sign that there's a bigger lesson to be learned? Leonard Cohen said "there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." And I love a cliché so this one I'm really trying to get behind. Of course sloppiness and lack of attention to detail are not the goal but obsession is the other end of the spectrum I'm really trying to stay away from. For me, typos are those little reminders to breathe and not take life so seriously. So I raise my glass to all you rag-tag let-ers in of light. I see you fumbling around in the dark because here I am looking for the dang light switch, too.

Maybe I can learn to just accept the fact that shit happens and the world doesn't stop turning because of it. I hope that once I do, I'll be able to walk with my head held a little bit higher, breathe with a little less agita in my belly, and listen with a little more kindness in my heart. Because there's so many sayings that essentially tout "don't sweat the small stuff" but they never seem to do the trick quite as well as a fumlbe on a keyboard. So to everyone who's made a mistake or two; thanks. It's helped more than you know. Truly.