Emily Pearlman

Name: Emily Pearlman

Age: 35

G: Describe your career in four words; EP: Independent, collaborative, ethical…..and stuck

G: What do you do? EP: I generally work as a writer/performer or director/dramaturg. I’ve tried different variations but these are the most fulfilling.

G: Why do you do it? EP: The writer/performer gig allows me to figure out things. I go through the process of figuring things out which, I hope allows the audience to go through a similar process. To work as director/dramaturg is a chance to live spontaneously through other people’s curiosity and sit in their obsessions. It’s exhausting to be obsessed with your own stuff all the time. Sometimes I’m just normal person curious about things and it’s cool to be able to take on other people’s obsessions.

G: What made you fall in love with it? EP: I’ll cite a specific moment; I was at the Stratford festival in High School and we are watching William Hutt in Molière’s The Miser. He just knew how to talk to the audience. And I had never seen anybody…I had been to a lot of plays but I never felt like ‘that’, like I was in conversation and my attention was wrapt …and I’m not particularly big Molière fan but to see a senior actor having a conversation with so many people…that was it.

G: Well that is evident in your shows as well. I always feel you are addressing us very intimately. EP: That is nice to hear because I want to make work like that. I want to have a real conversation.

G: Where did you train? EP: I trained at Concordia and I started in performance because I had applied for a bunch of different programs at Concordia… performance and one that they used to have which was called Drama for Human Development. A lot of people applied for performance but not as many get in and I got in. And if felt really good like ‘Iiiii got into perfooooormance!’ And I stayed for maybe one semester or half a semester and I said ‘forget it! This is too constrictive! I actually don’t care about this sort of stuff!’ So I dropped that to take a major in Theatre which didn’t have as many prerequisites and that allowed me to take a minor in religious studies because that’s what I was really interested in. I don’t know if, at the time, I knew that I went into performance because of ego. But now I can tell you it felt like “oh you think I’m good at this?! I guess I should do it!” and I forgot that I should listen to myself! In hindsight it might have been really useful for me to go into Drama for human development because it’s all about working with different communities and that’s what I’m coming back to now, 15 years later. The stuff that I didn’t give the respect it deserved at the time. I also did the One Yellow Rabbit Performance Intensive. I did my MFA in interdisciplinary studies at Simon Fraser. It was a great program because there were five of us and I had also done some radio… one of the guys was a whirling dervish & found objects sculptor we had a sound artist, a film maker. So I learned different languages. So I learned how theatre can be influenced by a whirling dervish & found objects sculptor …I was really curious about their processes ‘how do you do it, how do you make the work?’ But it was after my undergrad that I realized I wanted to make my own work rather than audition for or do pre-existing plays. G: That’s really courageous! EP: It was also out of fear which is a great motivator. I really didn’t like auditioning for things because the rejection was the worst.

G: Do you have a favourite book about your craft? EP: Anne Bogart, The Director Prepares

G: Is there an experience that comes to mind where you learned a lot about your work? EP: When there’s little at stake financially and it’s only myself at stake; I do way better. Countries Shaped like Stars was one of the simplest and most joyous experiences because we literally had no stakes. Nobody knew who we were and we had two hundred dollars. We did it all by ourselves. We were pals. We were kind of trying to impress each other a bit but we did not have anything to lose in terms of our careers or financially. So that was a success.

G: Do you have a personal philosophy? EP: You’ve got to have a plan, you’ve got to have a direction and follow that… but at the same time you have to be completely open to throwing it away if it doesn’t serve the creative process.

G: What does your week look like? EP: Well lately it’s been completely different because of this tiny human (Emily gestures to her adorable baby) she is making me re-evaluate what I want to be doing and is making me think a lot about time. I’ve been thinking about the environment and sustainability a lot and trying to figure out what truly gives me joy . And right now I’m very very lucky and privileged’ my partner is on paternity so we’ve scheduled things where he has at least four hours a day and I have at least four hours a day to do what work we want. Then we tag team looking after her. The idea is that we can eventually both be working less hours so we can split the childcare and maybe enjoy the world a bit more. I am more interested in that than a ‘career dream’ per se. I recently had a really great conversation with my collaborator Nick Di Gaetano about artists we respected and who were movers and shakers, really getting stuff done. Every single one of these fantastic artists were so tired and were working so hard and I just don’t think I want to work that hard. I’d like to be able to think about things other than theatre. But I have also been doing work as a writer/performer and director/dramaturg and working with Theatre 4.669 and planning a tour and figuring out how touring with a child works! So maybe this is another example of me not listening to myself...!

G: What is the hardest part of what you do? EP: The new parent thing is both wonderful and difficult because you’re in-between identities. You’re slowly taking stock of what your identity was before hand and incorporating being a mother into that, but you don’t have space for all of those facets of your life from before so you have to slash and burn and decide “yeah...no...That’s not something I want to devout my time to doing right now.”

G: Do you have any mentors? Who were/are they? EP: I feel very fortunate. Jan Irwin has been a mentor to me since I was 17. I started the Youth Infringement Festival when I was 17 and there were mentorships associated with it and I sneakily paired myself with her and she was just so gentle and wise. After my undergrad I got a PTTP director’s grant to work with her. Also Jennifer Cayley and Jan Andrews. They are storytellers and I have known them since I was 4. I would go to these storytellers’ evenings and I would curl up onto pillows in their room and they were hugely influential for me in the power of performance in a shared space. They have always helped me and have been huge advocates for my work. And my mom! She has always reminded me, without pushing, that I am capable.

G: Who inspires you? EP: I don’t think that there is one person…well… my partner, he has always reminded me that; other people’s opinions of you is none of your business . I found that really freeing as a human and as an artist. I’m inspired by anyone who is curious. Kendra Fanconi who runs a theatre company called The Only Animal. They are out in Northern BC making work that is responding to climate change, responding to site, bringing audiences into relationship with natural spaces. I’m excited by that transformative community experience and they are making themselves imperative to a specific community. I always feel like I’m being useful to the theatre community here [Ottawa] as a collaborator or teacher but I sometimes wonder if I’m being useful to the greater community because my audience reach is only so far. G: Well I think you are reaching that greater community! Your shows have been at the Children’s festival and the kids are super important.

At this point Emily brings up Beyoncé’s Lemonade and we explode into a gush fest about how it is work of art and just the best.

G: Is there someone’s career you envy and why? EP: There are people I used to be able to look at and say ‘oh yeah them! I love their career!’ but now I think, ‘no I don’t think I like that lifestyle’, so no I don’t actually want their careers. And that has been a huge learning point for me. I stop comparing because nobody has their shit together in all of the areas. Yeah so that’s it.

G: How do you prepare for a role? EP: Well as I said I don’t really act in other people’s plays. I’m really bad at it and I don’t want to do it. Do you want to know why? G: why?! EP: You wanna know why? Because I think that I’m so interested in text that I’m terrified of disrupting the playwright’s idea by making a bad acting choice. I know that’s a terrible way to be because as an actor you have to make choices and that’s always been a block for me that didn’t occur when I’m in my own piece. Because you’re making it as you go along and you’re writing on your feet to a certain extent so I don’t even think I prepare for a role. It’s like I open myself to finding connections and similarities within myself or mostly between mining shitty things about myself and then putting them in a different costume. G: Geeze this next question is like bad for creators… EP: Don’t judge your questions Gabbie…..It’s at this point I realize I am incredibly awkward in Emily’s presence…for some reason I turn into someone weird who sounds like a valley girl whose every second word is ‘like’. It’s like I lose the ability to, like, sounds credible due to my, like, fan-girling….listening to yourself on tape can be brutal!

G:How do you usually feel after a show closes? EP: I feel like …I think about all the things that could be changed. I’m just constantly in process. The performance is just a part of the process. What I’ve been trying to do recently is think of things as neither good nor bad, and there is neither success nor failure but more like; there are things I want to change about it and things I don’t want to change about it. But I also really, sometimes I feel like it’s time to put it to bed. And that’s ok.

G: How do you prepare for an audition? EP: Not relevant

G: What trick of the trade would you like to share? EP: AS collaborators: just address problems before they become an issue. It’s just something I’ve learned by experience. It’s terrifying to do it, but it’s always better. It’s just “oh good that’s over with!”

G: What’s your favorite piece of theatre? EP: Daniel MacIvor’s Never Swim Alone. It was the first play that I was in when I was 16 and it just exploded my brain I remember getting the text and reading it at home and not getting it at all. I could see things in the text that didn’t make much sense on the page and the second it came out of my or another performers mouth it all came together. I had to hear it out loud. It taught me that theatre is not a book it’s live.

G: What are you trying to say through your art? EP: You need to attack a problem by changing the system that creates it. How can we conduct structural paradigm shifts and not assume that we have to do things in the same way that they have always been done? Just because we do not see other options doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

G: What is your perceived biggest failure? EP: When I have failed to make a decision. …..Emily and I digress into a non-relevant conversation about collaboration and get completely off track. I really ruin her opportunity to talk about her biggest failure and FAIL to get us back on track. Let’s blame it on my inferior interviewing skills.

G: What is your perceived biggest success? I think other people perceive Countries Shaped Like Stars to be my biggest success. That’s the pieces that has gotten the most air time and has resonated with people. It’s been on tour. All of those outside markers of success are there. It’s like ‘oh you went on tour! Check mark!’, ‘oh you’ve been translated?! Check mark!’, “You won an award? Check mark!’ For me I think my biggest success is Nick (my collaborative partner) and I digging ourselves out of the worst long term fight. Like, two years of fighting over art and ego. Getting to a place where we were cool with each other and figuring out what we wanted to do and to come to a place of mutual respect was huge. And also the fact that the Youth Infringement Festival, that I started when I was seventeen and is still going, has given so many people their first crack at getting something up on the stage. I always tell my students ‘submit! Submit! No one is going to see or hear your work if you don’t get out there.’ I always found young women specifically were hesitant to submit their work and were under-represented at the festival. There was no difference in quality between the young men and young women’s work but the women just second guessed their work more. So I had a student and we were not seeing eye to eye on some things, but she was a really interesting writer. So after all my general encouragement to the class to submit their scripts, hers was still in her drawer. When I asked her why, she said “oh, I don’t think I could…” and I said “of course you can. I’m telling you specifically to send your work in.” So she did and it got picked for the festival. That was so incredibly satisfying to be in a position where you can give other people that push! that is huge! Y’know I feel like I have made enough shows that people connect to strongly so that I think I’m ok at making art. I don’t think I’m the greatest artist that ever lived but I feel confident enough in my abilities that I’m not trying to prove anything at this point. I’m comfortable with failing, so that is …because I’m not trying to be the next big things I’m called to the work that I want to make but I’m more interested in the process and the production. Ooh also I was in Winnipeg three years after we did Countries Shaped like Stars and there was this woman who stopped me in the street. She came up to me and said “I named my cat Gwendolyn Magnificent because of your show!” And I was like ‘Yes! Thank you! Clearly that show made an impact!” That was the best.

G: What is your strongest skill? EP: Interoscillate, it means to make connections between things or people. I’m able to say “have you thought about working with this person.” Recently, especially with my daughter I don’t have time to say yes to all projects and I am getting better at saying “I’d love to work with you but I can’t give your project the time and focus that it needs right now.” But if I’m able to suggest someone else to …that’s the best! G: I know! When I can’t do a gig but I send someone else’s name forward, it feels so freaking good! Everybody wins! EP: Everybody does win! And it feels good to feel like you’re giving a gift to somebody and better work will result because of your generosity.

G: What do you wish you were better at? EP: Thinking bigger.

G: Do you have an actor pet peeve? EP: Acting too hard and being precious. It’s just like ‘now I get to act really hard, watch me cry!” G: I know I feel the same way. I feel like there is just, like, a pallet of other emotional responses in our collective experience as humans. You just don’t always have to choose to cry in a scene. There’s often a better, more relevant choice.

G: Do you have an actor pet rave? EP: I love it when I believe actors are just talking to me. I love it when I see them onstage just being themselves.

G: Why do people need theatre? EP: It is important for people to watch something that has such a high chance of failure. Something could go wrong at any point, there’s no chance of that at a movie. The stakes are inherently higher.

G: What theatre secret do you have to divulge? EP: I’m a giant hypocrite just like everybody else. Contradiction is what makes conflict and that makes things interesting.

G: What is the craziest thing you’ve had happen to you onstage? EP: Once we did Countries in a small black box theatre in Saskatchewan. There was a man on a date that snuck in a bottle of wine and got drunker and drunker as the performance went on and there were like forty people in the audience. We were in an alleyway, a stage with audience on both sides, and everybody could see him and everybody was on edge because of this drunk man. Nobody knew what he was going to do. He went to put his arm around his girlfriend and kind of punched her in the face accidentally and he was out of control. Nick, during the performance, said “hey I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself but can you keep it down a bit because you’re making people upset?” And he didn’t and then Nick said something again and he was just like “forget it! I’m out of here!” and he got up and he walked across the stage during one of the most joyful moments of the play, he walked not around but across the stage. Everyone in the audience watched him walk across the stage. And there was this awkward silence. We had cast the audience as bird or constellations and when he left there was this weird silence and nobody knew what to do. I just looked at the audience and said “owls.” And that diffused the tension.